Duration 17:2

Gender disappointment: It's not what you think

110 473 watched
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3.4 K
Published 16 Nov 2021

While I always intended to talk about how I felt about finding out we're having a baby boy - because that's what I do....talk about how my grief impacts my life - I was ASTOUNDED at the level of closed minded comments I saw on my gender reveal video. Little Bean will be raised emotionally intelligent. I won't tell him he's an ungrateful child just because he wishes his mother wasn't sad for her daughter. We will experience so much love and joy together AND I will be sad for Noah, that is inevitable and it will affect my little boy and we will talk about it and he will know its ok to feel however he feels. I wish it wasn't this way too my Son. ♡ OUTFIT https://thelullabyclub.com.au/?ref=xnHpemtdy2VM3T ‘LOVENOAH’ for 10% off ♡ SOCIALS Instagram: @itsjudeaaa @rememberingnoah_lee ♡ MUSIC Dj Quads - Missing someone ♡ PO BOX PO BOX 4316 Mount Maunganui South Tauranga Bay of Plenty 3149 NZ

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Comments - 741
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    @nataliesoutlet3 years ago Ive loved following your journey. Thank you for your transparency in all this cant wait for you. 20
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    @0991etak3 years ago I so admire your honesty while you' re in such a vulnerable place emotionally, it radiates strength although you maybe don' t feel it. I love how . ...Expand 168
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    @cheeriokeeper3 years ago The only thing we should never wear is the judgement of others. I lost my oldest son when he was 34, in 2020. Its still so fresh. I wanted a girl first, b . ...Expand 186
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    @madisonfisher75713 years ago Judea you are so in touch with your emotions, its so inspiring. Being able to acknowledge and separate your emotions is a testament of just how strong y . ...Expand 121
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    @hannahtuck58483 years ago I have to tell you, when you said that part about how youll parent your other children differently because you carry grief with you now but will still g . ...Expand 104
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    @kelleyreeves9653 years ago I think people who' ve never gone through what you have don' t really have a leg to stand on when it comes to judging you for your feelings on your . ...Expand 112
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    @mimad49233 years ago You seem to be very self-aware which i think is super important when having a baby so soon after a loss. My mum had me within 18 months of losing my sister . ...Expand 84
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    @Serendipity86UK3 years ago I' m so glad that you' ve got your head around the fact that this baby is a little blueberry rather than another little raspberry. For your sake. . ...Expand 326
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    @katherinegibson50173 years ago I am so sorry that some people in the world are so judgemental, hiding behind their screens, not realizing the depth of what they say and how it can impact . ...Expand 59
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    @sarahmorley10313 years ago This little boy is going to be soo loved judea, not just from you, brogan and your families but all of us. And of course his big sister noah, she is always going to watch over him and protect him. 17
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    @iri16603 years ago Just like the saying: we dont get the baby we want, we get the baby we need. Im sure your love and devotion for that little boy will help you heal and . ...Expand 23
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    @mommyjaslynn3 years ago Love how open and honest you always are. 29
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    @cliche8873 years ago Anything you feel is valid! Im sure this is a very exciting and emotional time, its totally okay to struggle with your feelings. Thank you for sharing you . ...Expand 8
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    @UP-ww9si3 years ago There have been other strangers i follow online whose babies i was excited to see, but ive never been more excited than i am for you guys. Im just so id="hidden13"excited for your future and i cant wait to see what your little boy looks like. ...Expand 16
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    @leese8913 years ago You worded that perfectly. No one can comment on how you deal with things without having been through the same situation, and even then, we all cope differently . ...Expand 26
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    @jennyeliza7063 years ago Havent even watched this yet, but wanted to share that there' s always shock! And no one should judge it. I thought i wanted a girl first, but my baby . ...Expand 51
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    @araceli51513 years ago People need to understand that just because they think they would be able handle the emotions of losing a baby at the end of the day you cant, so sto id="hidden16"p trying to fit your solution in a situation you arent apart of. Side note im excited for you both. Baby boy will be loved just as noah-lee is loved. ...Expand 45
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    @jinnyp2513 years ago I have a son he turns 2 tomorrow he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and i could never ever imagine my life without him. I dont know how y . ...Expand 15
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    @zztoplee5053 years ago I just wanted to sayon your baby boy! And i love that you are so open with your feelings and do a really good job of explaining them. I it' s probably not that way for everyone all the time, but it' s like a breath of fresh air watching your videos, how you are able to talk about these things that not everyone wants to talk about. And i feel like since i started watching you, i have been more comfortable like expressing my emotions and explaining them to my husband and it has made us closer. Also with the idea in mind that we would love to be parents some day. Anyway, i cannot wait to see your next video! All of my feelings of support are being sent your way!. ...Expand 14
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    @irisotero65613 years ago Here to show love & support and, remind you that you & noah-lee arent ever far from my thoughts. 11
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    @yvonnebannon76233 years ago I never thought that having cupcakes for a gender reveal would be looked upon as fail. I found them to be lovely! I am so very happy for you both that . ...Expand 23
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    @kellybuss53253 years ago This little boy will know he is so loved. 26
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    @chanelgarcia40693 years ago I' m sorry people made you feel like you had toyourself. You have gone through a lot and its okay to feel what your feeling your emotions are 100% valid. I' m positive a good majority of everyone writing those comments have not gone through what you have. I' m positive this baby will fill your hearts with nothing but love don' t worry about other people' s opinions. I know noah-lee would want you both to be happy. ...Expand 48
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    @shavonstevens22603 years ago I love your videos and how youre so in touch with your emotions and how you know exactly how youre feeling and why and that in itself is very much a gift, blessings to you and congrats on your baby boy! 1
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    @elizabethhemingway56513 years ago Its so easy for others to judge someone they dont even know, but until theyve walked a mile in your shoes, they know nothing about what you are feeling a . ...Expand 4
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    @SimonaKlimentova3 years ago You are an amazing human being. I know a lot of your unapologetic, honest attitude comes from a lot of pain but it is refreshing to watch you own up your . ...Expand 7
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    @halseygreenhalghtanner52653 years ago It' s absolutely laughable that people would even think that cupcakes vs a party means different love. Hahaha. What the hell, honestly. I am so happy . ...Expand 145
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    @colettedamaro96823 years ago Gender disappointment is so common in parents that have lost their babies and it isn' t talked about enough, i am so glad that you have made a video i am really sorry that not everyone was supportive of your feelings in your last video, but your feelings are completely valid, and experiencing disappointment isn' t selfish or ungrateful - it' s deep-rooted emotions and feelings that come from losing your precious baby. You will love your child regardless and gendercertainly doesn' t change that, your little bean is so lucky and once he is here - you will be head over heels. ...Expand 2
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    @sharneylawren43223 years ago Girl just wait. Having a son shows you a different level kind of love and feeling. They honestly just love you in a way you never thought possible. 6
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    @lydiasyear3 years ago It makes me sick and upset to know that some people have the audacity to be judgmental towards you and everything youre going through. I am so sorry for that. Youre an amazing mom and a beautiful soul. 3
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    @poppyilsand79263 years ago Youre a rock star. Youve got this! Cant wait to see the stuff you got for him. 8
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    @hipnhappenin3 years ago I' ve been following your videos after my sister-in-law had a stillbirth and you seem to hit the topics i always wondered about. Thank you again for . ...Expand 1
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    @juliap92773 years ago So well expressed. Wish i had known my feelings so well in my 20s. I was also nervous when i had my first boy, i didnt know anything about boys! But id="hidden28" they are so easy, almost easier. They love so big and full your heart so full. It will be such a wonderful experience, so looking forward for you. ...Expand 1
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    @AidaWelde3 years ago Your grief and fears and concerns are all completely valid and make total sense. You don' t owe anyone an explanation, but i still admire how raw and . ...Expand 1
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    @stephhill19853 years ago You are such an amazing woman who is so strong and inspiring after all you have been through. Cant wait to meet little man. 4
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    @obscurexninja3 years ago You' re so self aware. It' s amazing to listen to you articulate your thoughts and feelings. On your pregnancy. Your love for your babies is undeniable. Always thinking about you and noah-lee, and now your baby bean. ...Expand 2
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    @jennifermonique273 years ago Can' t wait to meet little bean. Boys are so sweet and loving so excited for you and brogan. 5
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    @KittySkeed3 years ago Its so informative how you explained your feelings. I think you are doing an amazing job with what you have been dealt. Im wishing you all the best with this pregnancy and beyond.
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    @charlenefriesen82863 years ago What a great explanation judea. You are going to be such a great mom to little bean boy! Little boys love their mommies i wish i was able to have a boy . ...Expand 12
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    @AriRHen3 years ago I really appreciate your honesty. I feel like so many people feel that way but bury it because they think they are not allowed to think that way or they are worried about judgement. Cant wait to see how you style baby boy!
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    @prettystitches13 years ago I love and appreciate your honesty. I would also never judge your grief as i have never walked a day in your shoes or experienced that pain. The cupcakes . ...Expand 1
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    @xiomaramatthews73473 years ago This video is so beautifully done! I can tell you are excited for this new little boy to join your family. Everything you have done for this little bean . ...Expand
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    @charmainecampbell16943 years ago I love how well you are able to communicate your feelings. I know it probably takes some processing, but it' s so difficult for me to get to a point of explaining how i feel the way you do.
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    @sherriyvette3 years ago I just love your honesty judea. Its so relatable and i wish more moms would be as honest as you. As someone who is trying for a baby this is so helpful t . ...Expand
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    @sophianasrallah43133 years ago I love how honest and open you are able to be with how your feeling. Not experiencing all that you have, but i too wanted and thought i was having a girl . ...Expand 7
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    @azaliarosser94183 years ago Congratulations on this blessing please be aware and try to make a plan for the extremely difficult times that are up ahead as you juggle all your em id="hidden39"otions, past, present, and future when you meet and begin to care for your new baby. Praying for wisdom and strength for you. Little bean deserves all of you. Feels weird to comment on a strangers life but i say this in love keep going. ...Expand 1
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    @ashleytetrick4373 years ago I am thrilled for you! Little baby bean is such a blessing and you deserve this beautiful blessing. Sending so much love! 1
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    @SSubz13 years ago I have a rainbow baby after a miscarriage with twins, everyone kept saying i was having a girl with those sayings like how my belly looked and how i was not saying you wont love your baby boy just as much as noah-lee as you and your husband seem so lovely. Congrats. ...Expand 6
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    @Tongan853 years ago I' m so happy for you both! There' s so many judgemental, annoying people out there but then there' s those who give you so much love, think of . ...Expand 5
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    @misspurplepetals3 years ago Baby boys are so loving. Hell be exactly what you need. All the love and cuddles that you deserve. I also used loads of baby clothes girl clothes on m . ...Expand 32
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    @brennapetersen85223 years ago I hope i didn' t say anything in the gender reveal video that was destructive- you are allowed to feel whatever you need to. You' re so selfless . ...Expand 3
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    @likeevikkii3 years ago Your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and everything is absolutely valid! I too hate gender reveals for myself personally too. Just because we see them all . ...Expand 2
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    @ashlee35123 years ago You seriously are so devoted to your followers to explain yourself like that you shouldn' t have to. 90% of those people would not know the feelings . ...Expand 4
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    @megghancote19793 years ago You will be an amazing boy mom i cant wait to see you be a physical mother to this little boy. 3
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    @meepmoopmeep13 years ago Thank you for sharing! You are so skilled at communicating your thoughts and feelings. I understand exactly what you mean. Sending all of the love to you, your husband, and your perfect children. 1
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    @susanturner41293 years ago Aw bless ya, when u was talking about xmas, i could imagine, you both holding him and showing him the lights next year at xmas. And in my head, you all . ...Expand 5
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    @rachelsikwane9853 years ago I love what you say at the end about parenting differently because of the grief you now carryyour grief is palpable and honestly, i just want to jump t . ...Expand
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    @housewine893 years ago Your grief is a part of who you are. No one is a perfect parent and anyone who tries to act as though they have it all figured out is kidding themselves. You . ...Expand 20
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    @realmomtalk24253 years ago Im so glad youre doing better! Forget everyone and there negativity people are miserable with their own lives that they have to come out and say something. Super excited to see you grow. 1
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    @kirstenalexander363 years ago I totally understand where you are coming from. Your feelings are completely valid. You envisioned your life with a little girl & it is okay to grieve that. Im happy for you judea. 1
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    @candicew86743 years ago Ive been watching your videos from the beginning. I have cried through the really hard videos you have done. Im so sorry for your loss! I admire you id="hidden52"r honesty and the way you have shared your real feelings! Im sure you know this now, but be reassured that everyone grieves differently and there is no right or wrong way to grieve! I absolutely love to see the love in your marriage and your extended family. You are an amazing mama! You are doing a great job walking through this journey. Im so glad to hear you talk about how you feel regarding the horrible comments. That you realize how ridiculous they are! Although im sure they are hurtful! Im very excited for you all for this sweet baby boy. He is going to grow up knowing all about his sweet big sister noah-lee and he will love her too!. ...Expand
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    @laurynh95573 years ago I hate that you felt like you needed to defend your reaction, but i so love how articulate you are about your feelings! We all have our biases and preferences, . ...Expand 1
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    @mamaredman30923 years ago Feel all the things you need to feel judea. Just like seasons your feelings will shift. Idk you, but man am i proud of you. The vulnerability, the rawness, . ...Expand
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    @rachelhorsburgh52563 years ago You express your thought process on everything so gracefully and intricately. Im honestly in awe of what an amazing mother you are your two babies are . ...Expand
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    @alisonwilson45703 years ago Worded so perfectly i admire your honesty and very real feelings. No right or wrong emotions, we are all human and free to feel how we feel without judgement. I completely understand. Xx. 1
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    @georginadrake40503 years ago I think this was meant to be, in its own way, the fact the name still works is a good sign- maybe noah sent you the name knowing that it would work for . ...Expand 10
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    @zoeapplewhite78853 years ago I love that youre taking us on this journey with yall. Were so excited for your family.
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    @crystalquinneybarella75193 years ago Here to say i also had gender disappointment when i found out i was having a boy. I wanted a girl so bad, i was convinced i was having one, absolutely my son is 15 months now, i cant express how much i feel like i was destined to have him, it wasnt what i imagined, its a million times more amazing than i could have ever wished for. Its unfamiliar territory, but facing it is all part of the adventure. ...Expand 10
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    @kimandrea933 years ago I wasnt shocked by your reaction and completely understood it. I actually used your reveal video to make a point to my sister over the weekend. She m id="hidden59"iscarried earlier this year and has been feeling sad. She thinks she wont be happy until she has a baby in her arms. And though i agree, i told her she will still grieve the baby she lost. It will be an ongoing feeling regardless of the love she will have towards a new baby. Sending you love andon your sweet boy. ...Expand 1
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    @alanawarren44923 years ago Thanks hun he will always be a blessing as his beautiful big sister hand picked him especially to join your family. 2
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    @taylorallan69863 years ago Noah-lee will be forever honoured in the way you raise, love and cherish your baby boy. 2
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    @kmak48613 years ago I appreciate your honesty, it' s refreshing to hear. It' s clear that no matter what, you will love your son with all your being.
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    @katherinelouise8103 years ago I learn so much from your videos - you are so good at explaining your experience as a grieving family, and it all makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing.
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    @divyasamuel82853 years ago It' s beautiful to see how you are so connected with your emotions, and not bottling it up makes you live life better than not acknowledging what you . ...Expand
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    @lauraaguilar45133 years ago I never know what to say when i watch your videos, but i always think of your beautiful baby girl. Both of your babies are so lucky to have amazing lov . ...Expand 1
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    @Julessou3 years ago Sending lots of love always cant wait to see your adorable baby boy! Hes going to be so sweet and cute. 2
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    @savannahhargis3 years ago Ill start out by saying, when i had my second baby, i was so disappointed that it wasnt a girl. I had suffered an ectopic pregnancy between my first liv i was so disconnected during the pregnancy and was sick over how my first child would feel and felt so guilty that i was taking away our time together. I understand our situations are different, but i do somewhat understand how you feel. When my second son was born, all that love came flooding in, no different than my first. I was so thankful because i worried my whole pregnancy i wouldnt love him the same. My bonds are different, but no stronger than the other. My second boy is also autistic, and has taught me so much about motherhood.
    i dont know what your beliefs are, but i do believe that our lost loved ones can see into us, see our emotions, see our love, our hearts, etc. She knows how much you love her also, when my dad passed, i use to worry that he would be so sad in heaven missing me. My stepmom who is super religious told me there is no sense of time in heaven and that he doesnt have to miss me because he would feel like hes just going to see me at dinner time- not years and years. Which is super comforting to believe because although it feels like an eternity here on earth, they never suffer that pain. The love they have for us never changes, and they just feel like they will see us in a minute.
    much love and prayers
    .
    ...Expand
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    @brilliantbutblue3 years ago You articulated that beautifully, noah-lee will love having a little brother to share your love with. 1
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    @nutrirebyanaluarrivillaga26463 years ago You are so real not afraid to talk about how you feel. You are an awesome person, and a great mom for both your babies.
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    @mercedeslavon80912 years ago I lost a baby to miscarriage, not the same at all, but what brings me comfort is knowing god is giving her/him more love than i could ever give her/him. The same is for your little noah-lee. 3
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    @nurseyox98743 years ago Every video i watch of you i watch in amazement. Amazement at how incredibly strong and brave you are. Its been months since i watched your first ever . ...Expand
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    @allisonjones52073 years ago I saw nothing but love in your eyes when you found out it' s a boy. 12
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    @catherinebilyeu6533 years ago Im 20 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and we didnt do a gender reveal. For years ive wanted a little girl, and i didnt want to have a gender reveal im so happy for you and your family. Cant wait to see your baby boy. ...Expand 4
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    @fraidypan98982 years ago You always sound like youre on the verge of tears and i think thats why im always feeling such a tug on the heart, i cant imagine the pain you and id="hidden67" yours have gone through with the loss of your childi understand the concept of gender disappointment but just know your son is going to be such a blessing and exactly what your heart needs right now, god bless you and your little family. ...Expand
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    @daniellengeat85983 years ago Your videos bring me so much comfort and when you talk about your feelings and your grief it feel like it could be me sitting there talking. We lost our . ...Expand
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    @melissabarton37613 years ago Im happy for u guys! You will love this new little bean very much! I know u already do! Sending much love to you both your love for noah-lee will always be with u.
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    @annaevans26772 years ago This broke my heart noah lee and gods plans are the best you just didnt expect them xx. 1
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    @StefanieandKameron3 years ago I lost my first born ( a girl) to stillbirth 4 months ago.
    we are ttc now and i thank you for being so honest about your gender i knowi am going to experience gender disappointment if i have a boy next. Not because i don' t want a boy. But because the dreams i had of raising a girl will be put on hold.
    of course, as loss parents, we will always be happy to have a healthy child. But we don' t just lose our baby. We lose the dreams we had for our lives with them.
    i don' t think that' s hard to understand at all
    .
    ...Expand 3
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    @itsmoi25863 years ago You are such a striking mama, judea! Baby bean is going to be so adorable! I can hardly wait for you to have him in your arms. You will be very busy with your honesty about your emotions is quite refreshing. Everything you feel is valid so never doubt yourself. ...Expand 1
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    @ashleepayne45263 years ago You are so strong and are an amazing mother. I wish i could take away the negative comments but i know most of the people who said them cannot comprehend . ...Expand
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    @Mariana-tf7iy2 years ago Ive heard that children whove passed early in life are really angels brought down to earth to show us of what pure love is they live short lives becau . ...Expand
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    @veraschneiders8083 years ago Mom and dad, you do you! As a parent youll do anything to show your baby love, although sometimes it feels like its not enough. As long as you look bac . ...Expand
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    @Sam156043 years ago You' re so strong and you can definitely do both for your children. I' ve been following your journey and you' ve helped me after seeing and feeling . ...Expand
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    @becca48893 years ago Do not let anyone get you down, you are so amazing and strong and little bean is so privileged to have you as his mumma.
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    @Diana-zl3ue2 years ago Bless this baby boy, he chose you as his mama for a reason. I cant wait to see your beautiful family grow even more. You have lots of love to give for y new subscriber here, all the love < 3. ...Expand
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    @heatherjane47603 years ago Judea youre truly incredible! Cant wait to see baby and how much he looks like his big sis noah.
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    @crystawashington9833 years ago So happy for you. Thinking of you, noah, brogan and rainbow baby you deserve to feel the warmth of your sweet baby in your arms and cant wait for you id="hidden77"to get all the snuggles in again. Noah will show her love to you through her baby brother! I know it. ...Expand
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    @amandamason3423 years ago You will love being a mom to a little boy my 18 month old son is my best bub and hes a huge mamas boy. I think noah-lee will adore seeing her parents love . ...Expand
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    @hollyclifford74893 years ago I actually woke up this morning thinking of noah-lee, she is so beautiful judea you are such an amazing mama x. 1